“I think it’s important to get your surroundings as well as yourself into a positive state – meaning surround yourself with positive people, not the kind who are negative and jealous of everything you do.” – Heidi Klum
Emotional energy is all around us. The way we interact and connect with people has a lasting effect on our lives, and whether this effect is positive or negative greatly depends on the emotional energy that we surround ourselves with. Every single person brings something different to a relationship, and the more positive the people that we let into our lives, the more confident and energized and connected with life we feel.
When the majority of our relationships involve surrounding ourselves with negative energies, our energies risk becoming negative as well. Negativity effects the very way we see our life and the lives around us. A lack of positive thoughts and interactions can cause anxiety, depression, and isolation.
Sometimes, the negativities in another person’s personality can be very subtle. It might not be easy to detect when you’re in contact, or even surrounded, with negative people.
HERE ARE 11 TELL-TALE SIGNS THAT YOU’RE SURROUNDED BY NEGATIVE PEOPLE
- THEY ARE ALWAYS PESSIMISTIC
Negative people have trouble seeing the good in any situation, even one that hasn’t gone bad. A warm, sunny day will be destined to turn into a thunderstorm in the eyes of a pessimist, and there are very few, if any ways, to convince them otherwise.
- THEY ARE ALWAYS THE VICTIM
This goes almost hand in hand with being a pessimist. For negative people, bad things just happen to them, and there’s nothing they believe they can do to change this. They will always consider themselves the victim of whatever situation they find themselves in, even if they are the one that caused it. People who always play the victim will refuse to take responsibility for any of their actions. You are the one who is always in the wrong, and they are the ones who have been hurt.
- THEY CAN NEVER FIND TIME FOR YOU
Negative people will make excuse after excuse, and give any reason that they can do that they don’t have to extend any of their emotional energy on you. At the same time, they will demand you expend that same energy to them and become sullen when you are unable to do so. Friendship and positive relationships are a two-way street. If you find yourself surrounded by someone who only wants to hang out on their time, this is a red flag.
- THEY WILL USE YOU
This type of person will be known to give you the time of day only when they get something out of it. Whether they use you for money, transportation, emotional support or even sex, negative people will always seem to be around and giving you the validation and positive interaction you crave only when it garners a reward for them. For these people, nothing is done for free.
- THEY ARE COMPLAINERS
Negative people often have very little good things to say. No matter what, they will always find something to complain about. If the weather is warm and sunny, they will complain about sweat or sunburn. Nothing is good enough for them. They will also complain about aspects of your friendship or your personality.
- BEING AROUND THEM IS PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINING
Friendships should be positive experiences, and you should always anticipate with positive emotions the next time you see someone you enjoy hanging out with. Negative people, however, will begin to make us anxious when we know that we will be spending periods of time with them. They begin to suck the energy right out of the very room they are in.
- THEY WANT TO CHANGE YOU
Nothing is ever good enough for these types of people, and that includes you. Whether it be your hair, your sense of style, or something more intrinsic to your being like your personality or hobbies, negative people will see something about you that they don’t like and they will try to change it.
- THEY GOSSIP
Exchanging social information isn’t always a bad thing, and it isn’t always gossip. However, negative people turn to schoolyard gossip. If you find out from someone else that someone who is supposed to be your friend has been saying cruel, gossipy things behind your back, then you are definitely surrounding yourself with negative people. You shouldn’t have to hear from the grape vine things that are being said about you by your friends.
- YOU FIND YOURSELF FEELING MORE NEGATIVE THAN YOU USED TO
Sometimes, the signs that you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong kind of people and energies comes from within. If your positive, upbeat personality has taken a turn into a more pessimistic, anxious type, you may be suffering from the negative energies of those around you. By hanging out with negative people, you may run the risk of becoming negative yourself, which will then start to affect the positive people around you.
- THE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE ARE SUFFERING
When you start to become negative due to the negative people in your life, the positive relationships that you surround yourself will begin to suffer as well. You may find that other people are starting to pull away from you because they are starting to feel the pull of your own negative energies.
- THEY ARE JEALOUS
Having envy is a human emotion, and we all feel it sometimes. However, a negative person’s jealousy of you will make them incapable of being happy for you no matter what good comes your way. Positive relationships involve affirmation and validation. A negative, jealous person will always be angry or sullen when something good comes your way. This may lead to them treating you poorly or trying to drag you down emotionally because they don’t have what you have.